A Few of My Favorite Things for Baby

A few friends who are pregnant with their first babies have asked me what my top must-haves for baby are. 

I thought I'd write about my picks here, and I'm obviously qualified to, because I have one four month old baby and therefore I'm an expert on motherhood and all babies, especially yours. (Ha.)

(Also, I'm not including basic necessities, such as diapers, blankets, and car seats on this list, because...duh, you need those. I always hated when I clicked on Pinterest links proclaiming "best things for baby" or "top picks for baby" and the first one was a car seat. If you don't know you need a car seat, hey, you're in trouble. Also, I realize ten would have been a nicer, more even number than eight, but oh well!)

8. Video Monitor - I like being able to see Jeffrey and know whether he's sleeping or awake, so I love having a video monitor. He sleeps with us at night, but during naps when I'm downstairs and he's upstairs, the video monitor gives me peace of mind. This is ours, and it was the number one pick for video monitors under $100 on several lists, and got decent Amazon reviews, which is why I chose it. We thought about getting a monitor that would use wifi and connect to our iPhones, but after doing a little reading about people hacking those, we opted against a wifi based monitor.

7. Sound machine - i don't know what we'd do without ours. Originally I thought about just relying on a sound machine app on my iPhone, but the reality is that you won't want to leave your phone in the room with baby. So, get a cheap sound machine. Cheap ones do the the job well.

6. K'Tan and Ergo - I love both of these, and I have used them more and more as Jeffrey has grown. He hated being confined when he was a newborn, (he would literally kick and kick and fight until he woke himself up if I put him in bed swaddled,) and so we didn't actually use the carriers as much as I thought we would. But now he likes being carried close to mama and daddy, and I like being hands free so I can actually do stuff! The ergo is a good choice if you want something you and your husband can both wear, because it adjusts. Lots of wraps, including the K'Tan, aren't one size fits all. I didn't get the Ergo until after Jeffrey was born, because Tyler decided he wanted to be able to carry him too, (so sweet!) and my K'Tan was a size small.

5. Stroller - I was actually iffy about registering for a stroller, because I thought I would use it occasionally, but probably not often, and was it really worth the money? Y'all, I'm here to tell you it is. Carting that stroller around in the trunk of my car, and tugging it out every time I need it is a small inconvenience when the other option is lugging around the infant carrier in a store or going through the laborious process of unbuckling Jeffrey out of his car seat and strapping him into a carrier. Ugh. I got this kind of stroller, and our Graco car seat just clicks into the stroller part. No transferring of baby, no waking up baby if he's sleeping. It's the best. 

4. Medela Electric Breast Pump - if you're pregnant and reading this, then I sincerely hope you never have a need for one of these. But Jeffrey had a really weak latch when he was born, and so I relied on one of these to bring in my milk and keep up my supply for a few weeks. There are manual pumps out there, and if you're just pumping enough for a bottle or two along the way, I'm sure a manual one is perfectly sufficient. I definitely wouldn't want to use one as much as I had to unless it was an electric model. Also, per Obamacare, every insurance company is required by law to provide a breast pump to its pregnant clients. Some don't provide really nice ones, but some do. (Mine did!) All you have to do is call your insurance company to find out which models are available to you. 

3. A backpack diaper bag - I actually have this diaper bag, and I really like the way it looks and the amount of storage it has. I get compliments on it all the time. BUT I can't begin to count how many times I've wished for a backpack instead of a bag when I have to tote it around along with the baby, groceries, library books, etc. I think a backpack would be way easier to just throw on and go. Hands free is always a good option, because guess what isn't hands free? That's right...a baby. 

2. Rock 'N' Play Sleeper - I didn't have this when Jeffrey was born. But he was a terrible...and I do mean terrible...sleeper. He absolutely refused to sleep  in his crib for more than twenty minutes at a time, and since I was really uncomfortable with the idea of co-sleeping with a newborn, and didn't intend to do the cry it out method with a two week old, I ended up sleeping on a pallet in the floor in his room with him. This was so healthy for my marriage and good for my back! Not. 

My sweet mother in law bought this bed for us to try, and although it wasn't the magic solution to all our sleeping problems, it did mean that Jeffrey would sleep for an hour or two at a time during the night, and that was a big deal. He also struggled with reflux, and since this bed is inclined, it was helpful with that too! He still starts out the night in his little bed, and naps in it during the day. This definitely falls into the category of "not a basic necessity" and I wouldn't get one unless your baby has a hard time sleeping. (More than a typical newborn, that is, because news flash! most babies are
horrible sleepers.) 

1. Swing - one day, a few days after we brought Jeffrey home, Tyler looked at me and said "you know what I would do if I could go back in time? I would buy a swing the minute we found out you were pregnant! Because can you imagine not having one?!" (Spoken with a look of pure terror on his face.) I have talked to some people whose babies didn't like swings, but I have a hard time imagining that, because mine loved his. It was the only time I could put him down during the day without him fussing, and he did most of his newborn napping in the swing. These last couple of weeks he's enjoyed it a lot less, but only because he's in "stand up, roll around, be constantly stimulated" mode. For three and a half months, it was a lifesaver. Tyler's sweet middle school students gave us ours, and it was one of the absolute best presents we got, and one of the things I *know* I would buy for myself if we had another baby and ours stopped working.


So, there you have it! Mind blowing, right? I know it's not, but I hope it was helpful. Before Jeffrey was born, I read tons of these types of posts, (thank you, Pinterest links!) and they did help me solidify in my mind the things I thought would work for us, and we were so blessed by the sweet generosity of our family and friends who truly went above and beyond to help us prepare for J's arrival. Above all, it's important to keep in mind that our babies need our love and attention more than they "need" all the extras we're blessed to have access to here in America. 

Our Home

Back at the very beginning of August, we came home from a week's vacation to discover that the hot water heater had overflowed in the attic - the attic?! who puts a water heater in the attic?! - and that our house was in need of renovation to be livable again. 

For over a month now, we've been living in a hotel room with a three...now four...month old baby and a persnickety cat. (By the way, does anyone want a free cat? Because I know of one you can have.) 

Our house has been pulled apart and put back together, and we are only a few days, (please, God,) from being back home. 

But here's the thing: home isn't home anymore. It's just a house. A dusty, filthy, reeking-of-fresh-paint house. The walls are bare, the little decorative touches I have carefully added throughout the years are packed into boxes and shoved into a storage unit in the yard. The kitchen, so near and dear to my heart, is covered in Sheetrock dust and has been used carelessly by workmen for weeks and weeks. I didn't have a chance to empty the fridge of produce before we hastily packed up and got out, and so the clean, organized refrigerator, the product of my last week of pregnant nesting, is no longer clean or organized. Construction workers' white bread sandwiches reside on its shelves. Yuck. 

I have grown so accustomed to being away from our house, and have felt so repeatedly betrayed by it, (as crazy as that may sound,) with every new delay and each discovery of additional problems, that I told Tyler the other night, "I've emotionally disconnected myself from the house." 

And I have. 

My home? It's not there. That's an empty shell, not the warm, cozy home we have made our own. 

Now we are heading into the final stretch of work, and we will be moving back in this week. When I think of all the pictures to be rehung, and furniture to be carried back in, and clothes to unpack, dread pools in the pit of my stomach. Jeffrey's room had been so lovingly prepared before his arrival, and now it's empty...mine and Tyler's room, painted a calm, cool, pale grey and such a favorite place of mine to curl up and rest - empty. (Unless you count the dirt and dust. There's lots of that.) 

We will have lots of help getting our house put back together, but, selfishly, all I could think was "but it was so perfect before!"

I knew something had to be done, so last night, I went and sat in the empty, echoing living room and had a little heart to heart with the house while Jeffrey slept in his car seat beside me. I promised to love her again, despite the mold and water damage that forced us to live in a hotel for one and a half months, and despite the fact that for the next several weeks there will be boxes everywhere and I won't really feel peaceful and comfortable. I promised to bake cinnamon coffee cakes in the kitchen, and to swing with Jeffrey on the back porch. I promised to replace my dead basil plants at the front door with living, thriving plants, and I promised to make an even prettier home than before. 

And when I picked Jeffrey up and walked back to my car, away from my empty house, some of the dread about the coming days of chaos had lifted from the pit of my stomach. Because the truth is, I'm ready to go back and make our house a home...again. 

A love letter of sorts, from me to J

Jeffrey and I lie in bed, curled up next to each other, his feet resting firmly on my [not firm] tummy. Early morning light trickles in through the windows, and Tyler has just left for work. Jeffrey's big brown eyes are gazing at me, and he begins stroking my face with abrupt, spastic strokes. I cut his fingernails yesterday, so I'm not particularly afraid he will claw my eye out with his semi-dexterous movements. He moves on to my shoulders, running his little hands over them, grasping the hair that peeks over the edge of my neck and entwining his fingers in it. We make eye contact again and he grins his wife toothless grin. I raise my hand in front of his face, and he looks at it and reaches his tiny hand to meet mine, curling his fingers around mine, playing with my ring. 

"Jeffrey, I love you." 

And he loves me. He can't say it, but he shows it with his adoring looks and soft, sometimes gentle, (sometimes not!) touches. 

I was prepared to love him. I was prepared for him to love me. 

I wasn't prepared for the love to be this deep. For it to ache in my heart when I see my baby. I wasn't prepared for the fact that I'm the center of Jeffrey's little universe. (Being someone's sole source of food will give you that particular status, by the way.) 

And despite not being really prepared for the enormity of this mother-son bond, I'm embracing it, because it's wonderful. I'm not ashamed of missing him for the four hours at the beginning of the night when he's in his crib beside our bed. I'm okay with the eagerness that I feel when he cries at midnight and I tuck him in beside me and his daddy. He snuggles up to daddy first, so tightly wedged against his back that Tyler can't move an inch. Then, as the night wears on, he scooches closer to me, nuzzling me as if to say "I love daddy, but umm, hey, wanna feed me?" 

These days are so precious. Who needs uninterrupted sleep when they've got a baby as sweet as ours?? 

Perfection

After one of Jeffrey's middle-of-the-night feedings, I tucked him in beside Tyler and slipped out of bed to use the bathroom. When I returned, Jeffrey was wrapped in Tyler's arms, and J squeaked in protest as my weight shifted the mattress. He clutched his little rabbit he sleeps with tightly to himself, and burrowed deeper into his daddy's strong arms. As I settled in beside them, my heart was tight in my throat with gratitude for this sweet life I've been given. 

It wasn't all that long ago that we thought we wouldn't be able to have a baby. We were prepared for years and years to pass before we could afford adoption. And now, our little baby is kicking us (hard) and nestling in between us every single night. We often look at each other and say "did you think it would be this good? Did you think it would be this special?" 

I imagined it would be good. I imagined it would be special. But I had no comprehension for how amazing our life with Jeffrey would be. We are so blessed. 

Here's to You, Normal Life.

Y'all, I can hardly believe I'm about to start this again. I haven't written consistently for a blog since before I went to Ethiopia, so it's certainly been a long time.

However, during the long stretches of the night, struggling to keep my eyes open long enough to let my sweet, needy little piglet nurse his fill, I inexplicably find myself writing narratives in my head, just like I used to. The words come easily to me during those hours, and I am going to see about snatching them off the invisible and therefore forgettable pages of my mind's notebook, (that particular notebook is so convenient yet so darn impractical, after all,) and putting them down here. For you. Well, mostly for me, (and my mama,) but you are welcome to read along with us!

I can't make any promises about content, but I will venture that it'll be a conglomeration of motherhood stories, recipes you HAVE TO TRY RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and little sketches of the daily, commonplace life I'm finding so dear these days. I guess, in fact, that you could call this blog a love letter from me to the normal. And since I stopped twice just while writing this short paragraph, once to change a diaper, (managing during that simple process to get poop on both my hands and in J's hair, not to mention his onesie and the sheets,) and once to just kiss my giggling baby for ten minutes straight, I think it's a pretty safe bet that the blog posts won't be prolific or aspirational. At all.

And now he's pooped again. Does he not know how much diapers cost?! Why is he looking at me over his paci rim with a smug expression of triumph? And finally, why on earth do I feel the urge to stop and kiss his plump, smug cheeks for another ten minutes straight? Oh right. Because I'm his mama, and he's the sweetest baby in the world.


Normal day, let me be aware
of the treasure that you are.
let me learn from you, love you,
bless you before we depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest
of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
let me hold you while I may,
for it may not be always so. one day
I shall dig my nails into the earth,
or bury my face in the pillow,
or stretch myself taunt,
or raise my hands
to the sky and want, more
than all the world, your return.
-Mary Jean Irion







P.S. (and this is mostly for mama) I do promise not to enhance, color, or otherwise tweak my stories for the sake of dramatic or humorous appeal. Ahem.